Tech Support Nightmares

• Got a call from an upset customer who said he had be paying for our dialup Internet Service
  for three months and still wasn't able to use it. When I asked why, he said it was because he
  was "...still waiting for us to send him the phone cord so he could plug his computer in."

• I believe it was HP Tech Support that received a call from a woman complaining that
  her cup-holder (CD-ROM Drawer) was broken. That one still cracks me up.

• A woman was speaking with one of our techs one day about the fact that she couldn't
  get online. When our tech asked if we could walk her through the settings on her computer
  to try and find a solution to the problem, she agreed but didn't understand how that would
  be possible because she couldn't turn it on. A few more questions revealed that she also
  couldn't turn on her lights, or anything else that required electricity for that matter. Her
  power had gone out.

• Received this help request via email: I am receiving virals to the head from the OH
  MY GAWD bug off your Bozeman dialup through my modem...... I'm not even going
  to touch this one.

• Tech: Right-click on Network Neighborhood.
  customer: I don't see it.
  Tech: Keep looking.
  Customer: I still don't see it.
  Tech: Please keep looking, it will definitely be
  on your desktop somewhere.
  Customer: What was it again?
  Tech: Network Neighborhood.
  Customer: No, I don't see it. It's not there.
  Tech: Okay, go ahead and read every icon you see
  on your screen to me.
  Customer: I see My Computer, My Documents, Recycle
  Bin, My Briefcase, Network Neighborhood, Explorer.....
  Tech: Okay, stop there. You just read Network
  Neighborhood to me. Right-click there please.
  Customer: Right-click what?
  Tech: Network Neighborhood.
  Customer: I don't see it.

• I listened one day as a gentleman explained that "nothing was happening" on the web.
  Assuming this meant that he was having problems with his connection, I asked him for
  the exact error message he was receiving. "I'm not getting any error messages," he said.
  "I just double clicked the Dial Touch America icon and hit Connect. It dialed, made some
  noise, then it said I was connected. It shows the duration here, which says I have been
  connected for 1 hour and 38 minutes but nothing has happened yet!" It was a slow day, so
  I walked him through all the basics of using a web browser to navigate around the web. It
  was obvious at this point that this gentleman's only previous Internet experience was AOL.
  Those darn AOL users think the Internet is all about what you're forced to see, not what
  you choose to see.

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